


Mushrooms and well, a little bit of snogging

by Cosmowashere



Series: Bilbo's experience of kisses [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: A little bit lewd but it’s okay compared to the others, Kissing, M/M, One Shot Collection, Poor Bilbo, Snogging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24714763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmowashere/pseuds/Cosmowashere
Summary: Bilbo was just out looking for mushroom, Bombur’s order. He did not expect to find, well... whatever it was....A.K.ALil one shots about how Bilbo is always the one to witness kisses.
Relationships: Dwalin/Nori (Tolkien)
Series: Bilbo's experience of kisses [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1802905
Kudos: 14





	Mushrooms and well, a little bit of snogging

**Author's Note:**

> It’s like five in the morning, I’m tired but I wanted to absolutely write this-
> 
> Also, English is not my native language, so sorry for potential errors, don’t hesitate to point them out. Enjoy!  
> (It’s also 5am and my brain is fried)

The first time it happened really, the hobbit was out searching for mushrooms and edible plants: Bombur asked him to.  
And Bilbo couldn’t refuse an excuse to escape Thorin’s sharp eyes, who where always on him for the past few days.  
And apparently he wasn’t the only one wanting to sneak out of the camp.

A lot of dwarfs(Gandalf not included, the wizard was always gone somewhere if not by Bilbo’s side).  
This included; Kíli and Fíli, but it wasn’t that surprising. The brothers were probably up to some shenanigans.

Bifur was also isolated from the group. Or maybe he was of Bilbo, since the dwarf could not speak anything else than Khuzdul.

Than Nori, but it could be expected.  
And most surprising; Dwalin.  
Bilbo noticed the warrior followed Nori a lot, probably to make sure the thief wasn’t doing anything wrong or dangerous for the Quest.

It had been about three weeks since the company had left Bag End, and some unfortunate events. The hobbit hasn’t proved his worth yet, and honestly, what did he had to prove? That he was a good burglar?

Sure, he was sneaky, but a burglar? No respectable Baggins would choose “burglar” as a safe career.  
Well, he did went off with a dozen of dwarf for an adventure, so how much of a Baggin was Bilbo?

Also, a shame Bilbo handkerchief had stayed in his house, for he really needed it on this crazy adventure. He missed home. A lot.  
He missed his garden, the quiet mornings, the chirping of the birds and....

But his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by snapping twigs, crushed leaf and groans.

Bilbo froze, fearing a beast.  
But has the forest went quieter, the sounds were clearer.

He could distinct two different voices. He did not recognized what tongue they were using, for this language was rough, spiky although, quite familiar.

One of them lightly snickered and said something mockingly. Then a heavier voice groaned, answered and they went back to whatever business they were up to.

Sadly for Bilbo, he knew what was happening.  
They were snogging in the shadow of the forest, weren’t they?

A throw off brown and soft lilac jacket only confirmed it, accompanied by a pair of axes.  
Bilbo cursed the gods, for why of all people was he the one witnessing this?

Also, he felt guilty. Back in the Shire, listening or watching a couple in such an intimate way would be considered voyeurisme. Bilbo sighed, and apparently, the two lovers heard him, for they stopped suddenly.  
The heavier voice rose, spoke loud, questioning the air.

So without another sound, the hobbit quickly ran back to the camp.

“Well, Bilbo, ‘looking quite red on your face! Did something happened to you?”, Asked Bofur, noticing the hobbit was back.

“Indeed, Mister Boggins! Did you saw anything strange in these woods?”, added Kíli, giggling.

Bilbo now noticed that his cheeks felt hot. He excused himself by telling he ran.

Everybody was present, even Gandalf.  
Except for well, Dwalin and Nori.  
A sour thought appeared in Bilbo’s mind. He quickly shrugged it off.  
As if there was chance these two would?  
Hah! Ridiculous...

Unfortunately, a few moments later, Nori came back.  
And if his messy star-like hair, his jacket clearly hastily put on his shoulders or that small flustered expression on his face many might’ve missed, didn’t convinced you, then maybe the fact that Dwalin came back running a few seconds later, apparently “chasing” after Nori.

All of this only horrified Bilbo, and confirmed his fear.

Well, the dwarves were full of surprised, weren’t they?

He observed Nori and Dwalin a bit more after that, and realized they still hated each other. 

Nori would provoke Dwalin, smirk and run away. 

The warrior would be mad, hit something and move on. Nothing in their relationship was hinting affection and respect, as every couple should.

Bilbo was a bit confused. Why did two people would kiss if not by love? Back in the Shire, Hobbitses did not show their affection in such a way. Maybe it was a dwarf thing? 

Or maybe it only was to satisfied a need, no strings attached. Bilbo knew those kind of relationship existed, but didn't have a lot of experience as you may know. 

In fact, he didn't had any experience with romance, excluding his mother's novels. 

The Baggins thought, maybe he would learn more on this mad quest. This surely seemed to be an interesting journey... 


End file.
